Made The Decision to turn Our Will & Our Lives, to The Care of God as we understand him..

The success of allowing those suffering from many forms of addiction to choose their own concept of God, is probably the greatest secret to the millions of people who have recovered from seemingly hopeless states of Mind & Body. But when it came to finding a spiritual solution for my past trauma memories and undiagnosed ptsd, I needed a proven practice that would enable me to process, heal & release them in a safe & non intrusive manner.


3/27/2022 15 min read

Granted ,it had to be an understanding of God, but a God who promised to teach me the miracle of ‘How To Cast Out My Demons’ and they came in all forms:

night terrors

nightmares & flashbacks



anxiety & panic attacks

self abusive behaviors & habits

stinking thinking

shame & guilt



self doubt

wasting my life away on my past playing the victim

There were others, but this simply sums up what I had to deal with on a daily basis and caring empathetic therapist & medication weren’t enough, only offering short time relief, over and over again.


I was sick and tired of feeling sick & tired and wanted complete freedom from the past.

Being a member of AA for 35 years and very aware that my choosing a God of my own understanding -meant for me,& can only speak for myself- allowed me to have my very own “Go-Getcha God”. This meant I got to play God, and have Him do my bidding and when He failed me, He was in the wrong not me.

I remember trying this on with my first few AA sponsors and the recurring message was, it was I who wanted what they had, not them wanting the craziness I was offering.

This applies to the concept of God. I had to step out of my comfort goal and like with having a sponsor, working the program and living my life on their terms not mine. This meant doing the same with a concept of God -recorded in man’s history that promised the miracle of casting out one’s demons- at a price of living my life on His terms, not mine.

Earlier in my blogs I argued that the Bible is either a Book of Truth or a Book of Lies, and there have been many historians and archeologists who have proven, again and again, that it is a Book or Truth.

Having checked in on a wide variety of religions and spiritual concepts, nowhere else did I come across ‘miracles’ and ‘casting out of demons’ than in The Teachings of Christ Jesus

It was time to re-word this Third Step:

Made a decision to turn My Past, My Future, My Healing, My Will & My Life over to the care of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

This was the real foundation stone in my taking action. By accepting that God was Rapha the Healer, and He was available to me, on a daily basis, in the present only.

Thus, it was up to me to do my part, taking the necessary action to comply with this 3rd step and find a way to give all of the above over to Him.

“Faith Without Works is Death.”

This has become my new truth but it meant setting aside all old beliefs and prejudices.

For too long, squandering my present, ruminating on my past and maintaining the role of the misunderstood victim, finally learning it was a terrible wasting away of my life.

Finding out all my best efforts at altering my past proved impossible, it is time to take my past to The Alter of God.

At this moment in time, it is time I clarified my position:

Not being a student of theology; a spiritual leader; having only completely reading The Bible for the first and only time by late last year; blessed to have had the opportunity to have attended weekly Bible Study Groups & for Aa kindly Protestant Minister taking me under his wing to introduce me to The Teachings of Christ over the past year.

Embracing theses Three Steps in their entirety, as I have attempted to describe them, I managed to process, heal & release my Past Trauma Memories, from the root event through the later events.

This is not about joining or promoting a religion. For me, I don't do church and being raised in a Roman Catholic upbringing, yet learning about Christ from a Protestant Minister, I find myself in a spiritual no-mans land- this isn't a negative- as a recovering alcoholic & gambler, being a part of any community is always challenging for me; my natural state is my privacy, my own company, so having a one on one relationship with The Holy Three; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, works for me.

Reflecting & Journaling:

From The Teachings of Christ, I would read one or two passages and then write with my dominant hand about those passages & how to bring them into my 24 hours. When finished, I would use my non-dominant hand to write back with The Holy Spirit, telling me what i need to hear { let it happen &finding the words that come forth are not my conventional thoughts, therefore ,for me, they are Spiritual Food for My Soul}.

This is a wonderful way to connect with God and to invite Him into my day, taking charge of both my past & my futures.

Writing to the past aspects of myself who suffered the trauma events that weigh heavily as unwanted memories; each day resolving to return them to the owners unconditionally.

With my non-dominant hand, that Past Aspect of me { the true owner of the events} writes back their gratitude and commitment to take all of their burden from me.

{it’s important to know at this time, our subconscious minds cannot tell the difference between truth, lies, fibs or wishes, even fantasizing, whatever it hears it records as our truth, so using this practice, helps change the broken record in our subconscious minds so that we start to create a new path in life, a new way of thinking, leading to new healthier manifesting of our reality}

Writing to My True Self , the person I was meant to be, a Chosen Child of God, perfect in every way, even with all my defects and shortcoming, rightful owner of my past, its time to acknowledge this unwitting betrayal of Self and through this communication, make a deal with my past aspect to return to him what is his, and commit to focus on living these 24 hours.


It’s impossible for any one person to feel to opposite emotions at any one time.

{right now try feeling depressed and happy at the same time. we find we are at war with ourselves when we try.}

We each of us, know how to feel down, it’s our everyday mood, we don't have to even try, it comes naturally to each of us who suffer with our past.

Feeling good, feeling happy feels like a terrible wrong, but unless we feel happy we wont notice happy.

smile ,don’t this about it or how silly you might look, break out into a wide grin and really smile. feel how the scowl and the grimaces melt away in that moment, whether in this beginning you can only manage seconds or minutes. Don’t lose heart, just feel what it feels like to be happy, try it again ,and then try it again, start reminiscing about something, even a cartoon or joke you heard that make you laugh. now , stretchy that laugh into a 5 minute smile.

Every person you meet friend or stranger, make eye contact, smile and give a simple greeting.

Always smile at children and old ladies.

every moment you change for the better in your wellbeing and growth through these 3 steps, smile.

if you have never prayed, or reflected or journaled or meditated, smile whilst doing these activities.

Stinking Thinking

left to our own devices of thinking we have been cursed to suffer the horrors & terrors of the past, we suffer greatly, never healing, it causes us to think terrible thoughts of Brokenness, Victimhood, Isolation, Blame & Shame and Loneliness.

The Bible tells us what we focus on we manifest in our lives. When we think we are victims and none like us, that is the environment we create.

There is an urgent need to realize what is happening to us, isn’t from outside of us, but we do this to ourselves.

We have to learn to stop this stinking thinking, change the record in our subconscious mind, faking it if we have to.

The Good News tells us, we need to simply think on the good things like

Love, Kindness, Trust, Forgiveness, Compassion, Tolerance, Respect, Healthy Boundaries, Common Sense, Minding My Own Business, Self- Acceptance, Self- Worth, Faith, Humility, Community, Connection, Purpose, Success, Abundance, Health, Wealth, Focusing on the present only……


whatever it is you need to improve your mood right now, google up that topic in the bible, there is so much to choose from. when you have found a piece that resonates with you, repeat it over and over again smiling as you do so.

{remember we are changing our subconscious minds about how we perceive life.}

Now find a place where you wont be disturbed. Sit ,Slouch or Lie Down & get comfortable, {don’t try to maintain a position that those who are trained at can do,{try not to close your eyes completely, you are liable to fall asleep}. just keep repeating the passage you have chosen, them stop for say 10 seconds and be still, repeat this over and over for as little as 3–6 minutes, if you are trying meditation for the first time. its important not to lose hope or confidence.

It is very beneficial when one brings their breath into this exercise, so after reciting your passage, them focus on your breath.

Breathe in and out only through your nose, breathe right into your tummy, feel it expanding like a balloon, hold it for a moment ,remain silent, then exhale slowly pulling your belly button against you spine and once more sit still.

On your next in breath, recite your passages and repeat the process over and over again,

By keeping your mind heart soul and body focused on this venture, you will find you are kindly kept from anxiety and worry.

All The Kings Horses and all The Kings Men, cannot put our past back together again, but God can if we let Him

The past is no longer our domain, we have no power over what happened in those past moments; granted we can alter plans made in the past that haven’t happened yet, but it is utterly impossible to change the events of the past.

When I think of All the king’s horses and All the King’s men, I think of the whole mental health industry. No-one outside of you or I, can change our pasts, the medications can subdue the memory that we are not meant to be carrying, let alone discussing as though it were our burden.

The Kings of this earth, can only deal with what they are presented with, that's where their power is, if you have difficulty with life today, they can help you change your perspective or direction you are taking, their expertise in these areas are to be commended, but they, like you and I, are out of their depth, attempting to exert any power over past events.

These is only two beings with the power to process, heal and release our Past Trauma Memories, and they are our past aspect who suffered the event working with GOD, to take this burden to where it belongs.

The High Cost of seeking Vengeance or Justice for an event that didn’t happen to you.

Again, looking back at the First Step, we are powerless to effect a past event, and there is no peace in fighting the fight of another, especially if it hasn’t been resolved in the short term. Bringing GOD into the equation, letting him meek out vengeance & justice; letting the past aspect rest in peace; this is the only true way to process, heal release PTSD. We have to take stock of this situation and let go of it, letting GOD take it, the past is His domain, not ours. When we continue to intrude on the history of our past, we rob ourselves of the life force energy we require to live fully today. This life force energy is The Holy Spirit.

We are given 100% of Abundant energy to use for this day, but we waste so much of the past and more on the future that we are left with way to little for today’s needs. we then become energy leeches, sucking the energy from others or attempt to create short bursts though sugar, alcohol, drugs and medication.

I believe we have all experienced that occasion when you are at a social gathering and all are having a jovial time, and suddenly a depressed sullen person walks into the congregation and you can feel the energy being sucked right out of the room, as if the life of the party has just been drained.

On another occasion when we feel this low, we meet someone full of life and we are drawn to that person, we want what they have, in those moments, we become that energy leech.

When we get stuck in anger and resentments, we give away our life force energy, it’s not taken from us, we give it away, every time! How we hurt ourselves and then blame those around us for this self-sabotaging behavior.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. God can take that burden from you, right now if you let Him, feel that weight fall from your shoulders; feel the tightness in your chest opening up; you become like a new creation and in that moment, all of your life force energy, that is The Holy Spirit is returned to you.

Let the Dead Bury the Dead .

Can you imagine, you leave a dysfunctional workplace or circumstance and you are so glad that you are out of it. but then you find everyday, someone you considered a friend, dragging you back into the hysterics of that place daily, phone calls, emails ,texts, non-stop. No matter how you try to get through to this person to let it go, they continue to fight your battles ,even though that is not what you want or even asked of them, to be honest, all you want it to disconnect completely from all that and have a life free of it.

Well, this is what we are doing to the Past Aspects of each of us who suffered these trauma events.

My 12 year old younger version of myself, never asked me or wanted me to fight his battles for the following 40 years. He suffered that event, and never gave up, he did all that for me, this me today, aged 61 ,so that I would have the life he wanted for me, far away from what happened to him.

It’s time we each let the dead bury the dead, we can grieve ,that is right & proper, but then it is time to move on and remember the living, focus our attention and intention on those left behind.


This principle was my healing event, combining these three steps, into this one event. please feel free to go back through my blog posts and take this principle. Work it with your therapist or better still if you have social welfare and medical benefits, work with a Christian or Biblical psychologist who can bring a lot more the the healing event. if you are open to working with a fellow sufferer who is now a warrior survivor, them book an appointment with me through my website.

having suffered past trauma memories & undiagnosed PTSD, I really don't mind who you work this principle with; the bottom line for me is to introduce and have as many healed; we are not meant to suffer our past, grieve for a spell, then let it go, and live fully in the present

Those who do not know How to Let Go of The Past, Die sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly on the Inside.

Ulcers, Cancers, Blood Pressure, Back & Chest pains, and other such bodily dis-eases are caused my unprocessed emotions, and always from either a past event, or the fear of the unknown. Until, we start truly living in the present, existing, taking part in life in our homes, workplaces and communities, we will continue to suffer these ailments, in recovery commonly referred to as Spiritual Maladies.

what Can I Do Differently to Free Myself from My Past Trauma Memories and PTSD

Up until now we put all our faith in, practices, therapy and mediation, and for some of us addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex and other dysfunctional behaviors. No matter what we try, no matter how many different ways we try to manipulate and change the past and how we react to it, the bottom line is the end result isn’t healthy for us or those around us. It’s at this point we need to challenge ourselves and ask the question:

Were I to treat my PTSD as a Spiritual Illness and embrace The Teachings of Christ, to cast out my demons and gain the miracle of serene peace of mind, in my newfound daily living, would it be worth giving it a try?


Read or Study The Book of Genesis and learn first hand that when we invite GOD into our lives, He works with us to create a whole new world for each of us to live in fully-not meaning half heartedly, inviting him in, not staying in control- no, the actual surrender to Him, that even with our strong will-power and driving-force to get things done, we are completely out of our depth to handle this alone; also acknowledging that man-made solutions are only short-term gap stops.

In The Book of Genesis we are invited to create a life in the present, by the power of The Holy Spirit, all that is required is faith and us putting the work in.

Prayer is how one communicates with GOD through The Power of the Holy Spirit, within us all

Here are a selection of prayers you might try, write to yourself with your non-dominant hand and then reply with your dominant hand.

{place your name in the greeting}

Dear ………,

You are a Child of GOD, perfect just as you are.

With all your defects and shortcomings, all your doubts and anxieties.

Others can do your job, but there is no-one else on this earth that can do what you do, with your energy,

This is what makes you so special, so unique.


I created your for a purpose.

I want you to make a difference in the world like:

Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Jimmy Carter,

There is greatness within you.

You are capable of moving mountains.


It is my desire that you live abundantly as do the birds and the bees, not wanting for anything.

But when you leave me in the present and choose to suffer the past and fear the future, you put up a block between yourself and all i have to offer you.

The Depths of Joy, Hope, Purpose & Acceptance, that is waiting for you abundantly, when you let go of the past and the future and return to me, here in the present, will take your breath away.


Remember you change your subconscious and you heal all the faster.

so let us take the time to create together.

Find a spot where you wont be disturbed , paint a picture on the canvas of your mind of how you want you life to be & them imagine/visualize that you are actually enjoying those fruits today.

Make that picture as real as possible, bring in colors and your senses.

See the setting ,whether its a new home, or job , or simply deep peaceful sleep, or a new you that no longer reacts to advice or criticism but responds maturely.


You only have this one life, and like our friend Richard, he has used up 61 years already, had two TIA scares towards the end of the year, and now I hope you realize this as he does.

Shouldn’t you be alive ,living a life today, rather than throwing it all away on a past event that you are powerless over due to the simple fact that IT ISN’T YOURS TO FIX!


I need you.

The world needs you.

Your family and friends need you.

The children in your life needs you.

Other sufferers of Past Trauma Memories and PTSD need you to carry this message of hope and healing.

Christ needs you to continue his work on this earth.


Please don't squander your life on your past, it’s such a terrible waste and there are no fruits to be won for all your labor.

But process, heal & release the past, & together we can create a life beyond your wildest dreams.

I implore you to take us this challenge.

You don't have to join a religion or church, simple open you heart, mind and soul to me.

Let me take your burden from you and replace that void in your soul with the Holy Spirit.

Let me guide you to others who can help you find your way back into the present of being.

Let me teach you how powerful, forgiveness of others and unconditional love and service, will create in you a Leader Amongst Men.

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept that I cannot change or alter the past, my history,

God, grant me the courage to face life on life's terms, living in these 24 hours fully, changing the things I can,

God grant me the wisdom to know the difference, surrendering to what is my domain and what is yours.

The bottom line is accepting we are powerless to alter our past in anyway, that it is a burden we have suffered for too long, embracing the realization that it was never ours to carry and we need to let go of it, let it rest in peace. We exist in the land of the living, the present moment, that is our purpose, our duty to ourselves and our family, friends and community.

It’s time to let go of the need to be in control and embrace the truth that by faith in The Teachings of Christ and putting the necessary work in, we can ‘cast out our demons’ live in freedom of the spirit as is our God given birthright.

This is a decision we each must make ourselves, but the rewards are an abundance of peace, serenity and life, when we win through by surrendering control .

Try a prayer something like this, play around with it, the goal is to embrace the concept that there is a God; it isn't you or I; that we are Powerless over the past, even the future; all we desire is to be able to focus on and live in these 24 hours; willing to give back this PTSD & our Trauma Memories. to the past aspects of ourselves who are the rightful owners and replace this Hole in our Souls, with Hope, Joy , Purpose& Acceptance. through the power of the Holy Spirit, the true life force & life giving universal energy.

Lord God, Loving Father, Divine Creator, Jehovah Rapha, by The Stripes of our Lord and Savior, My True Self, My Lost Innocence, The Past Aspects of myself who are The Rightful Owners of this unwanted Burden, My Ancestors,

I call upon you, freely unconditionally and without any reservations, to take away this baggage, even if only for the next 24 hours/ a peaceful nights sleep/the next 30 minutes…

Take from me all my negativity, self doubt, self recrimination, all the blame, shame and guilt, and replace it with the Life Giving force that is the Holy Spirit.

Free me from holding grudges or demanding justice & vengeance, allow me peaceful serenity just for this short period of time.

Teach me by surrendering ownership of such baggage to the rightful owners, allows me to live & reside at peace with the world.

Thank you for this Spiritual Awakening.

As they say in recovery circles:

There is a God, May you find Him now