Sadly, We all Grieve a Lost Loved one….. This Helps the Healing
The Bible tells us we are meant to Grieve and Lament the Loss of a Loved One; Tear Off our Clothes; Let our Hair Grow Out; Cry, Shout, Vent; Fast; Shut Down; and Then We Are Meant to Let Go, Let God; Get Back into Life; back into Living; to be Available & Present for Those Left Behind.
Knowing God helps. Knowing your lost loved one isn’t lost forever helps. Knowing that they are now in a safe place. Knowing they are not wandering, lost souls, helps to ease the burden of their loss.
But there is more. The Bible tells us Faith Without Works is Dead. This applies to everything we do in life and especially in the death of a loved one. With Faith we hand over their care to God, in so doing we gain a semblance of peace. Being humans; we tend to need some proof that they are ok; that they want us to let go of them and move on; that they wont take it as a betrayal if we move on without them and this can only be achieved satisfactorily, heard directly as if from the horses mouth.
find a quiet place where you wont be disturbed
grab a pen and an A4 piece of paper
drink a cool glass of water before you start
when you write this letter, you use your dominant hand
you only have one side of this page to say all you need to say, so make it count.
If this means you have anger or resentment, don’t be ashamed of it; they can handle anything; being spiritual nothing you say can hurt them now. Also, they know what you are thinking anyway. Maybe you never got to say goodbye; made a promise you couldn't keep; If you blame yourself or another; write it all down, don’t leave anything out.
With one page only, it will help you focus on what you need to say. Make this page count. Make your words count. This is your opportunity to be heard.
At the top of the page write:
Dear [name of loved one]
At the bottom write:
Love[ your title; name pet/nickname]
On this page, this is your opportunity to say what needs being said, for you to be heard, to have that last conversation. This is your time use it wisely.
When you are finished, turn over the page, and step away, step into nature.
Feel the sun/wind on your body, let God’s energy wash over you, feel a release [imagine it] that you have let go of a burden of words, thoughts and feelings, that you had been carrying for too long.
Before returning to your page, splash cold water on your face and drink another glass of cool water.
Returning to your page
at the top write:
Dear [your name]
at the bottom write:
Love [the name of your lost loved one]
On the other side you got to express yourself, good or bad, fairly or unfairly.
On this page you are writing for your lost loved one. They are not here to defend themselves; to be heard. So, you will be their voice, you will speak up for them, whatever they need to say, to tell you, do this.
When Writing for Them ,Use Your Non-Dominant Hand.
Completing the exercise; tear up the letter and flush it down the toilet.
This is not to be kept for any reason, it can lead to brooding and in turn undo all your good work.
Know you can do this letter again and again if necessary, I would suggest you leave 72 hours between the first and second, over time you might even decide for your lost loved one to be your guardian angel, and have daily journaling conversations with them, telling them about your life and the living of it.
Please feel free to share this with family and friends, I believe this is suitable for children as well, although the parent or guardian would need to make that final judgement call as to whether that be the case or not for theirs.
In my next blog i will share a practice for cleansing and recharging ones energy, clearing the wreckage of the past, allowing for peaceful nourishing sleep